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Choosing Wisely

By Lindsey A. Frederick Leave a Comment

Photo Credit: Chi King @ Flickr (CC)

Photo Credit: Chi King @ Flickr (CC)

I was 15 minutes early for my hair appointment and had some time to kill when a handsome mall salesman lured me over to his kiosk with the promise of a free gift. I instinctively reached for the little packet he waved in front of my face, prepared to snatch it and dart away. But 30 seconds later I was sitting in his salon chair as he demonstrated a high-end hair straightener on my tired, Monday locks.

“Are you prepared to be amazed?” asked Eli. I knew the routine: Salesman demonstrates beauty product. I ooh and ahh despite myself. Salesman quotes an exorbitant amount. I act disinterested. Salesman throws in free gift. I shrug. Salesman drops price. I arch a brow. We continue this game until the salesman reaches his target price and I feel like I got a good deal. But I wasn’t buying.

And then he placed in my lap a box with the shiny, pink, magic hair-wand, perched royally on a velvet cushion. My resolve withered. I mean, my hair looked awesome! But I knew I could not afford this purchase. So first I tried to barter, “I’ll write you a promotional article about this product if you give it to me for free.” Eli smiled.

“You a famous writer?” he said in his Brazilian-Italian lisp.

“Perhaps.” I shrugged. What was the harm in massaging his perception?

“You have to look good for the public? This product is an investment in your image!” Good try, but no deal. Next, I considered what my financial icon Dave Ramsey would say, which reminded me it was budget night. I knew what I had to do.

Our cultural influences, whether actively or passively, are always on the ready to lure us into conformity with the promise of some really cool stuff: financial status, physical pleasure, fancy watches, and—yes—even a shiny, pink hair straightener.

“Eli,” I said, “This is a great product. I would love to own it, but I didn’t come here to spend any extra money; it’s just not in my budget this month.” He couldn’t argue. Pulling the budget card with a salesman is like pulling the God card during a break up—which would have been my next tactic. If not for a healthy dose of skepticism and a financial guiding principle, my pocketbook would have felt the squeeze of an unwise and impulsive decision.

The same is true for a lot of decisions we make in life. Like the salesman, our cultural influences, whether actively or passively, are always on the ready to lure us into conformity with the promise of some really cool stuff: financial status, physical pleasure, fancy watches, and—yes—even a shiny, pink hair straightener. These things aren’t inherently bad, but enjoyed out of the proper context or obtained without a healthy, grounded perspective, they could be damaging to both our pocketbooks and our souls.

Cultural Sway vs. Biblical Guidance

The Bible tells us to live in the world, but not to become like it. The New Living Translation puts it this way, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Rom. 12:2a). Some have interpreted this as an instruction to reject anything that isn’t explicitly Christian. But I don’t think that’s what this verse is getting at. I think it means much more.

I am always amazed that something as simple and tiny as a grain of sand can create enough influence for an oyster to adapt to its environment. The grain slips into the oyster shell, causing an irritation in the oyster’s soft tissues. The oyster responds by coating the irritant with the same protective substance it uses to coat its shell—a pearl is formed. The oyster doesn’t stop being an oyster and change into a grain of sand, and it doesn’t kick the sand out if its environment. It interacts with the stranger, adapts to its presence, and cultivates something rare and beautiful.

I think we’re called to similarly participate in our culture—to recognize its presence, to realize its potential influence on us, and then to interact with it in a way that allows God to transform it into something rare and beautiful. If we segregate ourselves from culture for fear of negatively affecting our faith, how can we influence and connect with its people? How can we test our faith, understand God’s will, and experience the awe and exhilaration that follows practiced trust?

Cultural influence is only part of the problem. We also have to consider our guiding point of reference. It might be time to ask yourself which influence is greater in your life—Culture? Or Christ?

Some might argue that letting culture influence our faith is to take an egocentric and pluralistic approach—just a dash of moral relativism, a pinch of materialism, and a sprinkle of entitlement and, viola! a recipe for a belief system made in our own image. That is a very real concern, but cultural influence is only part of the problem. We also have to consider our guiding point of reference. It might be time to ask yourself which influence is greater in your life—Culture? Or Christ?

Renewed Perspective

Eli the salesman tested my financial resolve by preying on my vanity and public image. He stroked my ego with a little shameless flirting and a peppering of compliments, but he ultimately didn’t influence my decision-making. Because I’ve lately been immersed in literature on healthy financial habits and have a monthly action plan, my perspective on money is different—renewed even. This made discerning the right choice for me clear and easy. I might dream about what could have been if I’d given in—oh, the flawlessly smooth and shiny tresses!—but my tummy isn’t grumbling and my landlord isn’t beating down my door for rent.
We can approach every area of our lives the same way: using the Bible to both help us recognize opposing cultural influences and to make good choices that are in line with God’s will for our lives.

Not all choices are as simple as this hair dilemma, however. God gives us tremendous freedom, but sometimes that freedom means wading through difficult decisions with few clear answers. What does the Bible say about finances? Relationships? Work? Emotional health? Sex? You may not discover a black and white answer for every area, but in studying the Bible you’ll learn guiding principles. 1 Corinthians 10:23 is a great one, “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is beneficial. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.” When faced with a gray-area decision, it’s helpful to ask these 4 questions:

1. Does God command against it?

2. Is it physically, emotionally, relationally, and/or spiritually beneficial for me?

3. Is it physically, emotionally, relationally, and/or spiritually beneficial for others in my life?

4. Does it please or bring honor to God?

You’ll still find yourself in tough and tempting situations, and I’ll still want to grasp for the shiny, pink hair straightener that I really can’t afford, but our new and strengthened perspective will help us straighten things out.

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Filed Under: Featured, Grow, Growth & Maturity Tagged With: Issue 23

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Happy Spring! Enjoy the new issue! #linkinbio Happy Spring! Enjoy the new issue! #linkinbio
Our striving to be like Jesus or do his work on ou Our striving to be like Jesus or do his work on our own is in vain. We can never hope to achieve the same level that Jesus was on while we are still here on Earth. We’re like little kids, struggling just to walk. But that’s why Jesus gave us an example of redeemed followers in the form of the Apostles, who were his close group of students here on Earth. He chose a group of broken, sinful men, and ultimately shaped them into the group responsible for continuing his ministry here on Earth. ⁠
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✍🏽: Tim VanDeWalker in "Running By Example" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's th "Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." –Desmond Tutu
The Bible tells us to live in the world, but not t The Bible tells us to live in the world, but not to become like it. The New Living Translation puts it this way, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Rom. 12:2a). Some have interpreted this as an instruction to reject anything that isn’t explicitly Christian. But I don’t think that’s what this verse is getting at. I think it means much more.⁠
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✍🏽: Lindsey Beharry in "Choosing Wisely" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
If you desire to serve, seek to form groups withou If you desire to serve, seek to form groups without age distinction. Maybe you want to form a group in your church. Avoid just inviting members from your age group. Seek out people older and younger than you to invite to meet together. Find that person who sits alone and talk to her or him. Instead of a focus on building groups that have the same characteristics to “relate” with one another, you center your discussion in the work of Christ. He will bring the group together. ⁠
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✍🏽: Russell Almand in "Community and Age Diversity" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"If we put our faith in temporal things, they will "If we put our faith in temporal things, they will inevitably let us down. They were never meant to be enough for us. Not alone. When Barnum finally does hit bottom, he recognizes that his heart has been led astray, fooled into thinking that fame or fortune could satisfy him."⁠
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✍🏽: @slimkeman in "The Greatest Showman" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"Porn. We are only now beginning to realize the ex "Porn. We are only now beginning to realize the extent of its effects on the brain, relationships, and society at a time when sexually explicit content is just a click away. Christians have recognized pornography’s negative impact for decades, yet it is still often considered a “male” problem within the Church. This can leave women who struggle with porn addiction feeling isolated and alone. The organization SheRecovery (formerly Dirty Girls Ministries) aims to change that and has become a resource for women with porn addiction. You can read more about their ministry at the link in our bio. ⁠
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✍🏽: Lisa Gagnon in "Dirty Girls Ministries" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"The presence of my sin reminds me of my great nee "The presence of my sin reminds me of my great need for grace, and good works are the outpouring of a grateful heart; being a good child is not a means of earning the favor of God."⁠
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✍🏽: Sally Blotzer in "Forgiving Failure" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"As Christians, we identify ourselves not only by "As Christians, we identify ourselves not only by how we handle our daily lives, much like those around us, but also by an added component: our faith. How we pray and worship and spend time with our fellow followers provides additional meaning to our lives."⁠
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✍🏽: Matthew Hamilton in "Does Your Form Determine Your Function?" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
📷: Photo by Lum3n from Pexels⁠
Often I picture Jesus telling us to love others an Often I picture Jesus telling us to love others and not to judge. I forget that when he said, “Come follow me,” he wasn’t just inviting us to a strict set of rules but to a real and exciting life whether you turn out to be a pastor, a doctor, designer or simply “Dad.” Sometimes I forget one of his main messages was that he came to give us a better life than we could ever dream of—life to the fullest. Jesus wasn’t locking us down to a vocation or job title. It’s as if he was saying, “Real, vibrant life is available to you now. Following me, loving me and living like me is your real calling…the rest is just there to aid you in following, loving and living.”⁠
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✍🏽: Wendy Van Eyck in "Living For A Purpose" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
Like Morpheus, I want to “show you how deep the Like Morpheus, I want to “show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” There is yet another parallel between the Christian story and The Matrix, simultaneously the most foundational and the most captivating. It’s that something which is missing, something which is not quite right with the world. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know that it’s there. At the outset of the first film, Neo is searching for it. Trinity asserts that “it’s the question that drives us.” Morpheus claims that “you can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.” The question is: What if I’ve only ever scratched the surface of all that life has to offer? What if there is a deeper, truer current of reality, ever-present behind all of my life’s experiences, to which I might awaken at any moment?⁠
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✍🏽: @slimkeman in "Tumbling Down The Rabbit Hole" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"I’ve always been intrigued by Augustine because "I’ve always been intrigued by Augustine because we all struggle with temptations to sin. And we all struggle to live in a way that honors God. Like Augustine we all feel the tug of our past sins that say, 'Don’t you want to enjoy us?' And Augustine’s story relates to Galatians 5:16-26 where Paul tells us about how the Christian life is like a walk. In a way, walking is a metaphor for the Christian life." ⁠
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✍🏽: @the_christopherscott in "In Step With the Spirit" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
"The Holy Spirit empowers us for Christ-like livin "The Holy Spirit empowers us for Christ-like living, and for serving others." Where in your life or in what ways has the Spirit enabled you this week? We'd love to hear, tell us in the comments below!⁠
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✍🏽: @the_christopherscott  in "In Step With the Spirit" | Continue reading at newidentitymagazine.com⁠ by visiting the link in our bio and tapping on the image.⁠
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